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I make a huge carbon footprint. I don’t like to admit it, but my awareness of my footprint has grown and I see how I make a lot more garbage than I think I do. Every day I come to the farm I dutifully bring my loaded compost bucket and I harvest food with my bare hands and transport my delivery box to and from the farm and drink out of a reusable mug, recycle plastics that cannot be reused and minimize a lot of my packaging. But there’s another side to my life. That is the long distance driving (fossil fuel burning), almond milk drinking (water and refrigerated transport and consumption maintenance), plastic bag lining, dish water wasting, central heated living lifestyle I have. Now a lot of that is changing, but it has sparked a larger internal discussion (with myself) about the processes I rely on to life the life I do. The environmentally harmful processes I enable and subscribe to live alongside all my idealistic notions of planet loving behaviors too. It’s this marriage that I don’t understand completely and it causes a lot of confusion, but it’s there. What it is is a constant conversation about what systems I need and what systems I have been taught to need to live the way my peers and society live. Today I decided to forego visiting the farmers market and driving all the way there because I have a lot of food in the house that I need to figure out how to make (see my “Cooked” blog post entry for more on that.) So the time it will take for me to figure out how to eat this food is probably a more useful and less carbon impacting behavior than shopping for yummy farmers market foods. It’s a small change, but it’s part of a larger conversation. I try to have these conversations with friends outside of the farm and while some of them are open to it, it’s honestly quite uncomfortable to get people to change their minds about adjustments to their lifestyle. I see it in myself that I’m so dependent on my car and so dependent the throw away system that I have a hard time snapping out of the cycle too. But it’s worth snapping out of and into a new non-carbon impacting system. Ohhh, but it’s so easy to just do what everyone else is doing! And it’s so hard to see how horrible these behaviors are. And so this conversation (towards¬†small¬†improvement) goes.