“This light momentary affliction is does compare with the eternal weight of glory.”
Things get harder, but its too hard to quit. This week was a special one for me, especially because I felt so refreshed. Between school, work, and the farm, its really easy sometimes to give up on one or focus too much on another. Sometimes its just too easy to check out of all of it, especially when I get caught up in the task. Somehow, things changed for me this week. I finally caught up with my breath and I found the rhythm of my steps. Even the things that were insignificant were filled with life. I felt reanimated, and it was as though color had returned to the earth. I think so much of this was the result of realization. At last, I saw why I struggled for so long and what that struggling was for. My turmoil was directly correlated to forgetting my purpose in life, forgetting the fact that I was created to love.
I started the week tired, unsure of how I would survive the days soon ahead. I was frustrated at the idea of mulching the farm, but my frustration doesn’t change my responsibility– it changes my response. Still, I fought my frustrations and mulched the farm anyways. My heart quickly changed from burdened to sweet, feeling like I earned the sweat on my forehead and the dirt collecting in my fingerprints. Its funny that when you fight past your emotions, you realize how much you love what you do, or how much you love the people around you. I think much of what I am saying can be summarized in this way: “We endure suffering, knowing that the end is secure”. I know that I love being at the farm, and I love laboring for all the small parts of Sarvodaya’s ecology. I know that I love people, and I love laboring for them too. All too often, I get strung on my emotions over the little things. For a moment, I think my frustration matters and that mulching doesn’t. For a moment, I think my comfort matters, and that somebody else’s needs doesn’t. But I know that if I look past myself and my feelings, I can see the good in my labor. I know that mulching matters, and that laying cover to the farm contributes to the percent organic matter, it helps prevent weed infestation, it reduces soil compaction, etc.. I know that helping my friend matters, that sacrificing my comfort makes them feel understood, and most importantly, loved.
Its so important to look past what you feel in the moment and peer into what is most important, whether it be loving the farm or loving others. Despite our tiredness, our weakness, our misunderstanding, our shortcomings– let us look beyond our light, temporal affliction because it does not compare with a deep and radiant love.